Scared of commitment

[pritchp]

Serious thread:

Is anyone else here scared (maybe too stronger of a word) of commitment... i love the chase dont get me wrong.. but as soon as im in a relationship i worry about all the commitment and getting hurt/screwed over

ive had some pretty messy relationships in the past and now i dont seem to be in a relationship and be happy.... it really sucks

any ideas anyone?

 

[triple9tommy]

Likewise mate..

Ive had 3 serious...the first of which cheated on her boyfriend to get with me, then cheated on me...
The 2nd who I was with for 2 years then suddenly fizzled out...not that a 24yr old American hottie had anything to do with it when I was on holiday
And the 3rd who I now live with..been with her nearly 2 years. Last year, she was diagnosed with leukaemia..and has been treated and is better, and aiming to stay that way! Certainly bought us closer.

I love being in a relationship, but equally, im still a boy. I love going out, doing my own thing at home. Just cos im with her doesnt mean im glued to her 24/7 its a mutual agreement we have...we always have time for friends, family etc.

Commitment is a big word...at the end of the day, last years events taught me that you only live once...dont hold back, have a laugh! Find someone who is truely special

 

[Anonymous]

commitment rocks as i dont have to make choices, as there made for me resulting in an easy life

 

[Sam]

Yup. As said already, probably portrayed slightly differently, but... just be yourself and take things at your own pace and only commit when you [and your other half] feel ready to

 

[Al]

Mate, totally in the same boat. I don't trust anyone or let anyone get close to me. I call it self-preservation.

I've been screwed over too many times, because quite simply they have done things to hurt me: ie: sleep with other people. We've muddled on through but it was never the same. I understandably was distant and that in turn was used as an excuse as my fault it wasn't working!

I've been single for a year now - longest time since I started having relations - and tbh I'm happier. No one to worry about or take me for granted. I miss the company and tbh the thing that scares me now is getting back into dating, meeting their parents etc all for the first time again.

I feel sorry for the next girl I get involved because as the years have gone by I come with more and more baggage and issues none of which are their fault.

In short, if you find someone who's 70% of what you think you want then give it a try. It might not work but it may be the best thing ever and turn a corner in your life.

Life is too short but at the same time too long to go through it unhappy. Think of it this way: when you're lying on your deathbed in years to come what are you going to remember? Not the job you have or the places you've been or the money you've made; you'll remember the best times you've had with your partner. Life is nothing without someone to share it with. Its what we're put on the planet to do.

I've just got to find myself Ms Right.

 

[Karl]

Before i was with rach i was like you Rob liked the game :lol:

But now settled down me and Rach get on really well. Her familys awesome and down to earth all works well can have a good laugh and bit of banter with her mum. Sisters like to have a joke around aswell. Me and her dad have things in common so its easy to sit and chat with them all to be fair. Also my brother is married to a family friend of theres :lol:

The girl i was with before Rach her parants were minted so nothing was go enough for them so i never went round there ever as the just look down at you. Also never liked me doing anything with out her and hated me with my cars. Least now i can go to tescos without something hang off my arm !!!!! Also if i say to rach i might get this for my car she asks about it. Proberly not intrested to be honest as she dont know much about cars but least shes showing intrest.

And relationships before that i just got ****** around that why i liked the game after them. One ended in me lossing part of a tooth by a few of there mates who came out of no where after her asking me to meet her and then going off with my old best mate :s

But anyway like i said im with Rach and we make each other happy im guessing its just finding the correct one

 

[Mr_Ben]

Don't be worried about finding Ms Right, just find Ms Right for now. If you go into a relationship with that outlook everything past that intial stage will be a bonus.

Yes you have that once a cheat always a cheat thing but if you give respect and treat them how you expect to be treated and start with a clean slate/fresh state of mind then commitment won't be as much of an issue.

 

[toni_133]

woman are just the same when it comes to commitment, i`m scared of it and i`m due to be buying a house with the other half in the next few months which is a massive commitment. i`m more scared about that then the bloody mortgage